Joining me today in The Loft is romance author R.B. O'Brien. R.B. writes erotic and new adult romance, including the books, "Thorne," "Edge of Torment," "Imogen," and "Play Only for Me." She also authored a collection of poems, "Ruin My Lipstick" and spearheaded the romance anthology, "Pieces of Us." In addition, R.B. is a founding member of The Nu Romantics, a support group for writers of romance and romance readers. In addition to writing romance and poetry, R.B. is a professor, dancer, and hopeful romantic, with a profound affection for Shakespeare. She lives in the northeastern United States.
S: Welcome to The Loft, R.B.! For several years, I have enjoyed your writing and have also participated in the group you co-founded, The Nu Romantics.
Why did you become a writer?
R.B.: Why did I become a writer? That’s like asking, why do I laugh or cry or scream or love or breathe? Writing is living to me. It’s living in me. It just is. Even when I try to shut it off or I feel like I have nothing to say, there I am, talking into my iPhone with another idea, or pulling over on the side of the road to jot something down, or waking in the middle of the night to record a phrase or an image that popped into my head, or looking outside and seeing so many things in the sky and the trees, or sitting in a cafĂ© and watching a world of stories take place in my mind by watching and listening to the people sitting next to me. Why did I become a published writer? That one is harder to answer. I sat down one day and began to write a little BDSM romance. As a full-time professor, I have the summers off, and when I started to really immerse myself in writing, I’d wake at 8 a.m. and didn’t find myself again until about 3 p.m., wondering, where the heck did I go? And where I went was into my subconscious and into the characters’ worlds. It was very difficult to shake it and step back into my waking world. When I was done, I had a huge novel. And I just decided--Why the heck not? And so, eXtasy Books picked it up, and the rest is history.
S: When I start writing, my son says I go into "the Zone." I don't break away from my computer until my brain has been emptied of everything related to the story I'm writing.
Do you write in any other genres?
R.B.: I mostly write erotic romance--on the dark side--but I’m now really enjoying writing in the new adult romance sub-genre, as well as poetry. I see myself focusing more on those two genres in the future. Poetry has always been, and will always be my first love.
S: What attracts you to the romance genre?
R.B.: Shakespeare once wrote: “Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?” I fall in love with people and things every day, even in the same breath. Perhaps that's why I love writing romance. I’m a ridiculous romantic and can see just about anything through that lens. It hurts my head to think about why we fall in love with those we do? Why we’re attracted to someone in a crowded room when there are many others standing there? Why a conversation alone with someone online can make us feel things in this digital age that one would only think could be fantasy or found in a romance novel? Romance. Love. Emotions. Feelings. It’s all very real to me. And love takes many forms. I think it’s the most beautiful of emotions to have accepted. And it’s one of the things I no longer try to explain. I just let myself feel it. Heart over mind is how I’ve come to live. I used to try to fight it. No more. If I want to fall in love with the sun setting over a lake, I will, and I won’t try to explain why. And if I want to fall madly in love over and over, so be that, too.
S: You've obviously put a lot of thought into the art of romance!
Do you read your reviews?
R.B.: I do read some reviews. But I often miss them. When I first started writing, I’d check constantly, obsessively. What did they think? Do I have any new reviews? How many now? And so on. As I started publishing more and more, I stopped taking notice as much. The first book in my Thorne series has close to 80 reviews, and I know I’ve not read them all. It used to hurt me to read a bad review. I’d wonder, "Why am I writing at all for publication? Why am I putting myself out there like this? For what?" But as time went on, I realized that it would help me grow as a writer. Some negative reviews make valid points, and I can apply them to edits or new works. Some negative reviews are emotional opinions, and I need to take them with a grain of salt. And some actually make me smile, because the things they may not like are the things I love, and sometimes, it helps sell books. Comments like, "The protagonists have too much sex." Or, "The anti-hero is such a prick." Or, "The ending made me cry too much." Some of those things are what people are looking for. What I’ve come to realize, though, is that just as many, if not more, write favorable reviews and become fans of mine and remain so, gobbling up whatever I write. So I write for them—my audience. And I write for myself. What I want to write now is nothing like what I wanted to write when I first started. I’m content no matter the review, as long as people keep buying and keep reading.
S: If you had to do it all over again, would you still choose to write books?
R.B.: I would do some things differently, no question. Publishing changes things. It takes a hobby and turns it into a business. When I wasn’t known, I published on Literotica and had myself a blast. I still have people write me about where some of those stories went. I felt no pressure and I let myself step into my wildest, taboo fantasies. I didn’t give a rat’s ass what people thought. I didn’t need to promote. I didn’t need to make covers or blurbs or advertise. But I went down the path to publishing, and now I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop. I suppose, without sounding clichĂ©, our lives are our stories. So why try to think about changing it? That's a futile attitude. There’s only the present.
S: Have you ever considered "shelving" a book? Tucking it into a drawer and putting it away for another day?
R.B.: I have thought of shelving my erotica. It’s dark. It’s taboo. It’s a lot of dub-con (dubious consent). But they are all filled with romance, love, growth, and change. It was where I was in my life. What I needed to hash out and explore. I’ve learned a lot about myself. About my needs. About who I am. It was a safe place to do that. It also has touched and affected a lot of people, and I’d hate to take that away from then. I just wish I had more time to write so I could put those behind me. I’m really proud of my poetry book, and I’m also quite proud of my two new adult stories, "Play Only for Me", a stand-alone novel, and “Beyond the Rain,” a short novella that I love to pieces. I love the lyricism of it. I don’t think I could have said that about anything I wrote five years ago.
R.B.: When one of my books is released, I cry, because it’s no longer mine. I’m jealous like that. I miss hanging alone with those people and places we created together, knowing that it’s time to move on. They’re not mine anymore. And there’s something both beautiful and sad about that.
S: Do you remember your first kiss? What was memorable about it?
R.B.: My first kiss. I wrote a whole blog post about that. My first French kiss was in the seventh grade. I was young. I was naive. And I had never even pecked a boy, let alone French kiss. Quite frankly, I had no idea what a French kiss was, though I had heard about it. Like an Arthurian legend, like some secret sorority hazing, like some mystical experience that only then allows you to enter womanhood. For without the French kiss, it was argued, you had never truly kissed. Your readers can learn more by visiting: https://rbobrien.weebly.com/blog-posts/march-26th-2016.
S: What do you want to be inscribed on your tombstone?
R.B.: My tombstone would read--"And somehow, it’s all so beautifully poetic, the wind taking care of the ashes." That's from a poem I wrote. Or simply, "Heart over mind." I'll let those who remain decide.
S: What do you want people to know about you?
R.B.: I am uniquely me. I’m closer to acceptance. I am shy, overly emotional, sentimental, passionate, and insecure. I worry my legs aren’t long enough, but love my smile. I am a writer, a dancer, a poet, a thinker, a lover, a philosopher, a friend, a sister, a daughter, an animal lover, and a health nut. I care about the environment. I overanalyze and second-guess everything. Fear often guides my decisions. I forgive too easily and fall prey to romantic notions—All. The. Time. I would rather feel and suffer than go through life with broad, safe, or grey-painted strokes. I live for vibrancy. I find beauty in the darkest of things. And my heart beats too fast.
S: Well said!
R.B., it has truly been a pleasure to chat with you today. If you would like to learn more about R.B. O'Brien and her works, please visit--
Newsletter: https://bit.ly/3a7nbDL
ARC and STREET TEAM: Http://bit/ly/2Zov9Zc
Websites: https://rbobrien.weebly.com/ and https://thenuromantics.weebly.com/
Blogs: http://bit/ly/3jBeoyx
Facebook Author Page: http://bit.ly/3cZ52Kr
Twitter: https://twitter.com/rbobrien120 and https://twitter.com/theNuRomantics
Amazon Author Page: https://amzn.to/2LDQBiF
Always a joy to read about Rosemary. Every interview is fresh, informative, and compelling.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sebastian!
DeleteThank you for a great interview, Seelie. It was a pleasure!
ReplyDeleteGreat interview! I enjoyed learning more about you as a person and as an author.
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